Peter Porker(Spider-Ham)
The name's Porker. Peter Porker. AKA Spider-Ham. That figures. Let me guess, you got your powers from a radioactive spider bite. A spider bite, yes. Radioactive, no. Seems the critter fell into a batch of my Aunt May's super vitamin-enriched wheat cake batter. Chewing Squealing Somehow, the vitamins in the batter, screeching transferred the spider's abilities to me. Oinking I pledged to use my powers for good And even joined the Avengers! But then, everything changed. laughs What kind of hero is a Spider-Ham? Sounds more like a spider-fail to me. Porker He made Spider-Ham sound like a failure. And every creature believed it. And soon, so did I. From that moment, I was Spider-Ham no more. rumbles clucking So that's it? You just quit? Haven't you ever felt like a failure? Sure. I've even walked a mile in your hooves that time Loki turned me into a pig. Uh what? Long story. The point is, I know people depend on me. They need a hero to save them when things get bad. And trust me, hambone, things are about to get real bad. There's a monster called The Goblin, looking for you. Could you maybe try to help me stop him? Goblin It'll take more than one little piggy to save you. panic groans groans laughing clucking There's no spider on this world, Gobby. Just you and me doing the pig pen polka. Mwah! Growls I am so rascally! Whoa! Yikes! Grunts yells Thwip! growling yells honk Screams Groans Whistling Whoa! Groans Goblin Wrong. Screams I've been to the city. Heard stories of a powerful, wall-crawling boar, who fought alongside this world's greatest heroes. Nothing like that shaken pile of bacon I just scared off. groans I'll find that superior hog and get a sample of his DNA. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Screams Whoa, whoa, whoa! Groans Gurgles Okay, this is getting ridiculous and messy. Laughs Here's mud in your eye, wall-crawler. And mud in your mouth, and mud in your lungs, and mud smothering you! Laughs Spider-Ham Hands off the monkey, big bad! groans Grunts Oinking groans Thought you were afraid of being a failure. Even I never lost a fight to a nut with an anvil. If you can take humiliation like that, what am I worried about? Ready, Spider-Monkey? Right with you, Spider-Ham! Go hog wild! Screams horn honking Screams Chuckles chuckles Grunts That's all, Gobby! No! I've come so far! I have to win! Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin. Oinks Yeow! My chinny-chin-chin! That'll do, pig. That'll do. Grunts Spider-Ham Ow. laughing Hey! One side, vermin! Spider-Ham! Iron Mouse? That's the green monster who was asking about you in town. - You need a hand? - Nah. My pal and I took care of him. Please. You were the one who saved my bacon. Uh no offense. Does this mean you're ready to rejoin the Avengers? Hmm. What do you think? That, on this world, Tony Stark is a mouse? Awesome! Hey! Well, I can't tell you what to do. But, in my family, we have a saying. "With great Porker comes great responsibility. " O-kay. The ham is back, baby! - High four! - Oh, yeah! Thanks, Spider-Monkey. Anytime, Hammy. See you around the funny farm. Grunts So long, talking crows! Did we just see a Spider-Monkey fly? Well, now I've seen everything! laugh W-whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Okay, Goblin. Let's see what alternate world is next. Category:Marvel Universe Category:Fourth Wall Breakers Category:Aliens Category:Avengers Category:Web Warriors Category:Superhuman Jumping Category:Dimension Travelers Category:Cross Time Travelers Category:Pigs Category:Farmers Category:Body Alteration Category:Animals Category:Parker Family Category:Ultimate Spider-Man Category:Danger Sense Category:Parker Family Category:Spider Physiology